a Little Science, a Lot of Love, & One Big Miracle
by Ellen Orr / photos by Jenny Pinkerton
Labor and delivery nurse Kristen Feeback overcame her own infertility struggles with support from her medical team and widespread community.
Every day at work, labor and delivery nurse Kristen Feeback helped bring babies into the world, routinely transitioning childless women into motherhood. The only career she knew, this was the job she’d studied and trained for; this was her niche. By the time she wanted a child herself, three years working in a high-risk L&D unit had passed. She knew the drill: she and her husband, Jesse, began to allow for the possibility of conception and soon begin actively trying to conceive, tracking Kristen’s ovulation. A year later, Kristen still wasn’t pregnant. After a series of doctor appointments and tests, Kristen and Jesse were labeled with “unexplained infertility,” a cruelly ironic obstacle they never foresaw.
Kristen was a Texarkana transplant from a young age; Jesse was a native. In January of 2009, nursing-student Kristen met bartender Jesse one night at Fat Jacks, the bar where Jesse worked. By the summer of 2010, the couple moved to Oklahoma City with their only “child”—a dog named Emi. They were committed to each other but had no plans to have babies. “When Jesse and I first met, I swore that I did not want children,” Kristen wrote. “I remember many conversations that we had where we were going to travel all the time and party with our friends and live like we were 20 forever! We were going to live the dream.”
Kristen soon began her first and only nursing job at the OU Medical Center in Labor and Delivery. Nine months later, Jesse proposed, and they wed a year after. By the summer of 2013, the Feebacks had established their lives in Oklahoma City, and Kristen, despite what she’d once thought, wanted children of her own.
Upon learning of their fertility troubles, Kristen and Jesse pursued intrauterine insemination; the six rounds were unsuccessful. The following spring, they tried in vitro fertilization. On their third wedding anniversary, Kristen tested positive for pregnancy—”a super exciting story to tell our kiddo one day,” Kristen wrote on her blog.
The following month brought heartbreak. On April 14th, 2015, she “saw the black, empty circle on the screen and immediately knew,” Kristen wrote. “Blighted ovum, miscarriage, whatever you want to call it.”
Kristen didn’t stay down for long, though, and over the next few months, she continued IVF, using the couple’s remaining harvested embryos on two further rounds. Both rounds were unsuccessful. They were out of embryos and out of money to harvest more.
The couple did everything they could to save enough money for a fourth round of IVF. Kristen was working 60+-hour weeks in labor and delivery, all for her dream of one day being a patient in her own department.
“I never felt comfortable until I saw his face.” but as Baby Fee steadily grew within her, so did her optimism.
On April 14th, 2016, one year after discovering that she had miscarried, Kristen took to Facebook to mourn and vent. “After doing six failed rounds of IUI and three failed rounds of IVF, I am working my butt off to save for Round 4,” she wrote. “I just got home from the hospital, after working my fourth of five 12-hour shifts this week, where every day I help my patients complete their families welcoming their miracle babies into the world.” Over 150 of her friends engaged with the post, wishing her well. One friend went beyond “liking,” however, and started a GoFundMe page for further IVF, despite Kristen’s objections. In less than two months’ time, Kristen’s friends and family raised over $8,000.
In May of 2016, Kristen again began the process of IVF. In July, seven embryos were created; the strongest two were implanted. And on August 12th, Kristen and Jesse received the news that they were pregnant with “Baby Fee.”
The pregnancy was long. After six years of working with high-risk patients and three years of struggling personally, Kristen was guarded with her hope, especially at first. “I never felt comfortable a day in my pregnancy,” Kristen said. “I never felt comfortable until I saw his face.” But as Baby Fee steadily grew within her, so did her optimism. She experienced a healthy pregnancy, which came to fruition on April 14th, 2017 (exactly two years after news of the miscarriage), when she experienced labor and delivery literally from a different perspective as she gave birth to baby boy Cooper Stone, named after Kristen and Jesse’s own mothers (their maiden names).
Kristen today, as she nurses Cooper, speaks highly of her fellow medical professionals who helped bring Cooper into the world. She also expresses so much gratitude for her friends and family. “If I could give advice to anyone [struggling with infertility], it would be to seek out a support system,” she said. “Thankfully, I have a fantastic family and a work family that really just surround me with love every day.” Kristen maintains her blog, laborandinfertility.com, as a way of reaching out to people in similar situations to her own who may not experience the in-person community that she has. “That’s why I’m so vocal [about my journey]—because I would hate for someone to feel like they didn’t have any support,” she said.
