The Power of Positivity
by Agnes Tirrito
“Good, better, best. Never let it rest ’til the good is the better and the better is the best.”
These words echo in my mind’s memory. My seventh grade English teacher, Mrs. Liles, chanted them to us daily. She expected us to answer in echo, and we did. I have long forgotten who authored the words. A quick internet search gives athlete Tim Duncan as well as St. Jerome the credit. No matter who said it first, we learned to believe those words in relation to our own work and our own lives. Decades later, I used the same words to motivate and encourage my own students year after year.
After thirty years of teaching, I learned that my attitude matters, but whatever I can do to help the learners in my charge also have a positive mindset matters just as much. A note from a parent reminds me: “Thank you for believing in my child. You looked for the good in him and that helped me to do the same.” I kept her note in my back-to-school folder and revisited it every fall as new students came my way. I kept it as a reminder that our belief in one another doesn’t stop between us. That parent encouraged me to continue, just as I encouraged her son. Positivity truly does take on its own energy.
Motivation. Some say kids don’t have it. I’ve learned that sometimes children just need some encouragement. They need someone to believe in them, to take an interest in who they are and what they like. They need someone to interact with them and guide them to see the progress they are making. Sometimes they need to see us think aloud through our own struggles. When young people realize that we have processes that we go through to cope with situations, and that those processes are available to them as well, it can be a turning point for them.
A friend and longtime mentor, Dr. Jauquita Hargus, used to tell students in our joint university classes to “play positive mental tapes” when they would get discouraged or overwhelmed. It was excellent advice and is something I’ve said to my own students in the elementary classroom. When we visualize ourselves as successful and when we tell ourselves positive things, we start a chain of positivity that helps motivate us to continue along that line.
Encourage your child each morning to create a positive mental tape with a simple statement such as, “I will have a great day today,” or “I will look for good things throughout my day.” If a child is struggling with a specific issue, perhaps guide him to visualize himself being successful. For example, “Today, I will make eye contact with my teacher.”
While I don’t believe in false praise, I do believe in looking for the good in every situation and stating it. Children today come to school from many different places: places of poverty, of drugs, of discord. They see abuse and are often victims of it. Maybe they didn’t have enough to eat or maybe they didn’t sleep well the night before. Maybe their parents or siblings are in conflict.
Life issues happen to all of us, and sometimes it is hard to concentrate. When we address this with children, we lessen the sting of it. They realize they are not alone in their struggles. They understand they might have some hard days, but they can overcome them. They can start verbalizing what they are going to do that is positive for themselves or others. As a parent, mentor, or teacher we can look for each opportunity to positively reinforce our children. A simple, “Thank you for listening to me so carefully,” or “You worked hard on this and it shows,” can go a long way to build a child’s self concept.
Other tangible ways to help a child build a positive mindset are to expose them to uplifting messages, quotations, and poetry. A favorite poem my students have enjoyed for several years is this one, an ancient Chippewa Indian song.
A Song of Greatness
(Chippewa song translated by Mary Austin)
When I hear the old men
Telling of heroes,
Telling of great deeds
Of ancient days,
When I hear them telling,
Then I think within me
I too am one of these.
When I hear the people
Praising great ones,
Then I know that I too
Shall be esteemed,
I too when my time comes
Shall do mightily.
After we read and discuss and learn to chant the text of the poem, the children start talking about all of the great ways they plan to improve themselves, as well as the world. These discussions are a springboard for original poetry, drawings, and other forms of expression such as drama and song that also help build a positive self image. When children realize they have many ways to express themselves, they understand the power of positivity and the energy it manifests.
