Tips for Raising a Confident Child

By Kelli Cook

A child with confidence knows that he or she is loved and feels capable to accomplish things. Patterns of self-esteem begin to form in the very early years. Self-esteem is not inherited; it’s developed from experiences the child has or what is modeled. Parental involvement is the key to helping kids form a healthy and accurate sense of self. Children need to feel they belong, have a sense of security, a sense of purpose and personal competence and to develop the ability to trust others. A positive self-perspective is the key to having healthy mental well being and promotes a more successful home and school life. We all want our children to be happy, motivated and successful.

Give a healthy amount of accurate praise. Too much or too little can have a negative effect. Too much praise can lower the bar and may send the message that they don’t have to put forth any additional effort. Lack of praise and too much criticism leads to low-self esteem.
Let your children make choices and experience mistakes. Be there to help support them and help them to develop problem-solving skills.
Make sure there is time spent just building the relationship. Your child may know you love him or her, but does he or she know you like him?
Set realistic goals for your child and be supportive to help them accomplish them.
Find activities your children can do well. Encourage effort in the activities they struggle with and praise their effort.
Identify inaccurate beliefs your child may have and help redirect those beliefs.
Be careful not to compare your child to
other children.
Give your child appropriate responsibilities
or jobs around the house.
Find things your child does to be proud of.
Allow and encourage your child to take healthy risks and try something new.
Provide structure and support for school work.
Realize that sometimes lack of motivation
for school may be related to anxiety or
shame about performance.
Have a positive parenting plan. Try to
avoid reacting, lecturing or constantly
taking a punitive approach.
Give affection and be nurturing.
Try to find out what’s behind their reactions or behaviors to find out the root. Don’t make assumptions: investigate and ask questions.
Get professional help if you see that your efforts are not improving your child’s self-confidence.