It takes a Village
By Katie Stone
When Thomas and Cyndy Rider first married in October of 2007, they knew they would have five children. At least, that was the plan. The Arkansas natives had no idea that their first child would come to them through the foster care system in 2019.
Thomas received a call from a family member regarding a baby girl in the foster care system. “So, they called us and said did you know that you have a great-niece in the foster care system?” said Thomas. The couple had no idea. So, they made some phone calls, sent a few prayers upstairs and ultimately decided to take in a five-month-old baby girl later named, Tatum. “She was placed first as a ‘kinship placement,’ but we had already gone through all the requirements for foster care in the state of Arkansas through The Call,” he said. They received a call on a Thursday that their final home study would be the next day. The couple also got connected to a local non- profit group, For the Sake of One, and they were able to supply a crib just minutes before the home study. Once the home study was finished, they received another call later that afternoon that she would be placed the following Monday “We had nothing,” Cyndy said. “We showed up at Rhea Lana’s Consignment sale the Sunday before to get things for her room.” The Riders had no idea that Tatum and her foster mom at the time would be there also. “It was totally by chance but made sense because we were both there for the foster care shopping day,” said Cyndy. Once people heard their story, they just started handing things to them. “We really had no idea what to get. Thomas was holding Tatum, and people were telling us what we needed and bringing it to us. It was such an emotional time,” he said. The whole process was an emotional roller coaster for the couple. Thomas had just secured a nursing job in Little Rock, so his schedule was bit weird when Tatum first came to live with them, however they were very understanding of the newest addition to their family.
Fast forward to April 2020 when Tatum’s sister, later named Anna Marie, was born. The Riders received a call asking if they would be willing to foster Anna Marie in June 2020, so they picked her up that day. They continued to receive support from local non-profits, For the Sake of One and The Call. “My mom was a huge help through the entire process, and our church as well,” said Cyndy. The day after Anna Marie came to live with them, they received another call regarding two more older siblings, later named Blake and Ellie. “We said yes, but we had to make some modifications to our home to accommodate all the siblings,” said Thomas. The Riders were living in a two-bedroom, one bath house at the time so they knew that it wouldn’t be big enough for the whole family. “We added walls and made a door out of another wall,” said Cyndy. The Riders received so much help from their family and friends as well as other foster parents. “We formed a great bond with other foster parents during this time,” Cyndy said. As foster parents to this sibling group of four, they were still under court designated visitations with the birth parents. However, the pandemic played a hindrance in that. “We were traveling to do the visitations, but then because of COVID we started doing tele-visits with the birth parents” Thomas said. It was during one of these tele-visits in 2021 that the Riders learned of another pregnancy. The birth mother was set to deliver in June 2021. “They did ask us about taking the new baby once she was born, and we originally said no. We were unable to do anymore,” Cyndy said. “She came a month early so; they called us again. We immediately said ‘Yes,” Cyndy continued. “I went to the hospital and had this 3-day old baby, later named MacKenzie, in the back seat of my car and thought “What have I done?” Cyndy and Thomas were feeling so many emotions having just added another infant to their growing family. Cyndy called her good friend, Shannon, as she sat in the car. “She laughed at me and talked me through it and made me feel better.”
The roller coaster of emotions and events continued for the Rider family and in August 2022 they were finally able to adopt all five children. They decided to let the kids pick their new names. “We talked to the kids about the next steps in the process. Of course, Blake wanted his name to be spiderman or superman,” Cyndy laughed. “But we had given them a list of names to choose from.” The Rider family likely holds the record for the largest attendance at an adoption court hearing in Pike County, according to Thomas and Cyndy. “We had signs made that read ‘It takes a Village.’ There were 50-60 people there with shirts on that read ‘We are the Village.” Thomas said. The amount of support thus far in their journey has been immeasurable, however they had no idea what the future had in store for them.
In December 2022, they awoke to Tatum screaming from her bedroom in the middle of the night. She was looking to one side and talking about a scary bunny in the room with them. The Riders didn’t want to take any chances, so they went to the emergency room. They ran multiple tests including an MRI of her brain which showed an abnormality. “They sent us to Children’s Hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas immediately,” said Thomas. According to the CDC, craniosynostosis is a “birth defect which the bones in a baby’s skull join too early. This happens before the brain is fully formed and can slow the growth of the baby’s brain.” The Riders managed symptoms for Tatum as best as they could. She continued to have headaches every day. They decided to have all the children tested at some point to determine if they also had the birth defect. Unfortunately, Anna Marie and MacKenzie also have it. Surgery was schedule for Tatum and Anna Marie in November 2023. The whole family had to temporarily move into the Ronald McDonald House in Little Rock while the girls were recovering from surgery. Once they arrived back home, the obstacles continued. The Riders had to stay home for three months, and everyone had to be calm and very careful while the girls were recovering. As trying as this time was for the Riders, they never lost faith. “We knew we wouldn’t be able to have Thanksgiving dinner with our family or even with just us. We found out that Abernathy Company donated dinners so we could have Thanksgiving,” Cyndy said. Friends and family members started hosting fundraisers to help with the costs of Thomas not working and with Christmas right around the corner. The Sunday School members at their church, First Baptist Church of Texarkana, donated gifts for the children and a Christmas dinner. Santa Claus himself made a special visit to the children for Christmas; sometimes he is also known as Steve Mitchell. “It was so incredible to have so much support. We were able to take a step back and just breathe,” said Cyndy. “The First United Methodist Church- Arkansas hosted a chili supper, a silent auction, and provided Christmas presents for the kids. They raised over $30,000 for our family which was plenty to help us during this time,” Thomas said.
In Spring 2024, the Riders found themselves in great need of a larger home. They have now completed their family and knew that they had already outgrown their space. There were still funds left over from the fundraisers and donations, so they decided to pray for guidance. In April, they received a call from a friend who had found what they believed to be the perfect home for the Rider family. “We looked at the house, and just prayed a lot about this decision,” Cyndy said. The house was almost twice the size of the home they were currently living in. They trusted their faith and with the continued support of those all around them they were able to purchase the home in May 2024.
Adopting a child can be a rough journey, but it can also be an incredible one. The Riders are so incredibly grateful for the outpouring of love and support that has been shown to them throughout the entire process. “We have such an amazing support system. My mom is wonderful,” Cyndy said.“The Children’s Advocacy Center and Temple Memorial have been so incredible. Even Kids Castle completed specific state training to be able to take in our kids when they were in foster care. Now they are part of our family, too!” They credit so much of their strength and perseverance to their faith and continue to give thanks for all they have been blessed with.
