Dear Teacher Q&A: E-Books, College Visits, and Social Skills
By Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts
E-Books vs. Books
Question: Are e-books better for my child than books?
Answer: Reading is what is good for your child. The more children read, the better they will read and do in school.
There is no conclusive evidence that shows that e-books are better than books. Some studies are being done, but it is likely to be a while before there is a definite answer. Nevertheless, more and more schools are turning to e-books for textbooks. And some teachers now consider books a thing of the past. Parents often endorse their children using e-books — saying the e-books motivate their children to read and are fun for them to use.
Not all teachers are sold on e-books. Some are concerned that all the animations distract from the story line. And children do move away from reading to playing games on electronic devices.
Whether children are reading e-books or books, they still need interaction with adults to make sure that they are actively reading. They must be able to answer questions about what they have read and be able to do some predicting about what will happen next. One major concern is that parents are backing away from reading to their children and expecting e-books to do most of the work in helping children learn to read.
Taking Younger Children to Visit Colleges
Question: My wife and I are both college graduates, and we definitely want our three children — ages 6, 8 and 15 — to go to college. We talk to them often about how much we enjoyed college. When is the best time to take them on college visits?
Answer: Your 15-year-old should be visiting colleges now. And it is not too early for the other two children to get an idea of what college is like. College visits usually should begin at schools close to your home. Your first visits should include fun activities, from college sporting events to special campus events to hiking or camping in the area. Younger children just need to get the flavor of what college campuses are like.
Your older child needs to have a checklist of things to see at each school, including taking a campus tour, visiting a class, checking out eating and dorm facilities, talking to students and learning about the courses offered. After each visit, he or she should write down which aspects of a school appealed to him or her and which ones didn’t. It will make it far easier later on to make a decision about where to apply. Incidentally, visits for older children need not be limited to schools they might want to attend, as each visit will help them formulate what they really want in a college.
The ideal time for college visits for high-schoolers is when school is in session — simply because it gives the best picture of college life. Nevertheless, summer vacation visits can be very helpful, as it gives children of all ages an idea of what other things in the area around a college might make a particular school appealing, from mountains to the seashore to big-city or rural life. So when families are on vacation this summer, they should make an effort to at least drive through a few college campuses near their vacation spots.
Teaching Children to Do Homework Independently
Question: How do you get a child to want to do homework independently?
Answer: Getting a child to want to do homework independently is much like getting a child to want to set the table or clean his or her room without a parent helping. Like these other tasks, homework cannot be classified as something that is genuinely fun to do most of the time. However, a child can gain a lot of satisfaction from handling a task by him- or herself — building pride in his or her efforts.
The sooner homework becomes the child’s responsibility rather than the parent’s, you are on the right track. At the fourth-grade level, you certainly should not be hovering over a child doing homework. One of the easiest ways to accomplish this is to use a homework contract like the one on our Dear Teacher website. It can spell out the times and places where homework will be done. You also might want to include a reward clause in the contract as your child learns to do most of his homework independently.
At the fourth-grade level, parents can look over the homework assignments at the start of the homework time with a child and help the child decide which work will be done first. During this time, directions for doing the homework should be discussed. It is also helpful to show children how to use their textbooks to answer questions about homework assignments. For example, in math, children can rework problems that are similar to those in the assignment. Following these steps gradually teaches children how to handle homework by themselves.
Homework is easier for children to do if they have an assignment notebook to write down all assignments and a calendar to write down long-term assignments so that study time can be planned.
Introducing Your Children to Music
Question: I love music and want to share it with my young children. What are the benefits of doing this? And how should I introduce them to music?
Answer: All parents should definitely be taking the time to enjoy music with their young children, as it is very beneficial to their literacy development. Plus, it is a great way for them to acquire new vocabulary and learn rhyming words.
Through music, children are also building their listening and memory skills. Start singing to them when they are infants, and always smile while you are doing it. Don’t worry if you don’t have a good voice, just lip-synch to songs. As the children get older, have sing-a-long tapes in the car for fun while you are driving.
Fit music into your children’s daily routine. Make up a pick-up song to sing as your child is picking up his or her toys with you. Have bedtime and bath time songs, too. As your child gets older, get instruments that he or she can shake or bang along with the music. The more senses that your children use with music, the more they will learn about it. Besides, you will be having fun together.
Individual Learning Styles
Question: My sixth-grader learns most easily by reading. However, her teacher puts a great emphasis on lecturing and class discussion. How can I get the teacher to give my child more reading assignments
Answer: Back in the 1970s, individual learning styles were a hot topic in education. The idea was that teachers should discover each student’s learning style and teach in a way that best fits that student.
Unfortunately, there hasn’t been any solid scientifically based research to support this view. Further research is needed.
Your daughter has a preference to learn through reading. Most people do have a favorite way of processing information. Ignoring children’s learning styles does not inspire or excite them to learn. The best approach is to incorporate all learning styles (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) in a teacher’s instruction.
You certainly can talk to your child’s teacher about your child’s learning preferences. It is quite possible that the teacher would be able to give your child a list of materials to read that might make it easier for her to learn certain subjects. Be very careful that you are not criticizing the teacher’s teaching style when you talk with him or her.
Ways to Teach Social Skills to Young Children
Question: I know having good social skills is important in many situations, including school. What social skills should I be teaching my young children?
Answer: Both having and not having social skills can influence how well children do academically in school. You want your young children to be acquainted with sharing, waiting their turn, asking to use things, respecting other people, not interrupting, and managing both anger and frustration before they start school. Of course, they won’t learn all these skills at once. As they continue through the elementary school years, you will need to continue helping them acquire these behaviors.
You can and should reinforce good behavior by acknowledging your children’s behavior whenever they exhibit good social skills. Don’t overlook bad behavior in young children, saying they will grow out of it — this may not happen. The sooner younger children learn how to behave appropriately, the fewer problems they will have in school.
What you do can help your children acquire social skills. You can show that these skills are part of the way you behave. If they see you waiting patiently in line, not losing your temper to rude drivers, taking turns and not interrupting when you talk to others, they will be learning social skills. And it’s absolutely necessary that you treat your children with respect by making polite requests, listening to them without interrupting and avoiding any violence in your home.
A Problem with Listening
Question: Why would a smart 8 year old have problems listening to his teacher’s instructions? No hearing problems have been found. Do you have any ideas?
Answer: Many children have never learned to listen. Listening is not the same thing as hearing. Hearing is a passive activity. For example, children hear thunder, the car engine and bees buzzing. Listening involves active participation of their brain. What they hear must register in their brain. Listening is an extremely important skill — one that is closely related to academic success in school.
First of all, you want to be sure that you listen to what your child is saying. Set a good example by making eye contact with your child and responding to what the child says.
Fortunately, parents can improve their children’s listening skills through activities that are fun. Try some of these with your child to help him become a better listener:
1) Make a habit of reading to your child and pausing to ask questions about what has been read.
2) Make a deliberate error in what you are reading and see if your child catches it. For example, call the cat in the hat a dog in the hat.
3) Play Simon Says, 20 Questions and Junior Trivial Pursuit.
4) Share family activities at the dinner table.
5) Talk to your child about activities that interest him or her.
6) Clap your hands in different patterns, and have your child imitate them. Then add thigh claps and/or head taps.
7) Listen to a favorite TV program for a few minutes, then have your child shut his or her eyes and identify the speakers.
8) Start a story at the supper table. Each family member ends a sentence with “then.” The next person completes the sentence and ends it with “then”
until everyone at the table has added something to the story.
